I’m posting this as I know that if I’ve written it down, on the internet!, I’m far more likely to stick to the plan.
I’ve been back at work after maternity leave since March this year. My little girl was 7 months old then (I took an extra month unpaid leave on top of my six month entitlement – leave that is, in my opinion, shamefully short, particularly if you, like me, are continuing to breastfeed), but thankfully my husband was able to stay at home with her for a few months. This really helped us all ease into leaving her with her wonderful childminder, who she loves, at 10 months. I was working four days a week and the day off in the middle was fantastic; but I’ve gone back to a full five days since October.
I am finding this extremely hard. I am only seeing my delightful little girl for a maximum of an hour and a half a day, and in the evenings we are both very tired. Now that it’s winter, I am commuting for around two hours a day (because of traffic!), leaving home and returning in the dark, and spending more and more money just to get to work and keep S with the cm for ten hours a day. The weekends are half wasted trying to keep on top of house “stuff” instead of really enjoying the time off. She is at an age where every day is filled with massive learning and I’m missing almost all of it. She comes home with new words and gestures and I wasn’t the one to teach her.
This is ridiculous madness. The madness of modern mammyhood, as someone put it!
I want to be with my child more; but we need my salary, unfortunately, to cover all the giant bills we have. Also I do want to keep working in some capacity; and S genuinely loves going to see her friends at the cm’s, so I wouldn’t stop her from going at least a few days a week.
So I need to come up with a plan to keep earning some money but in a way that allows me to maximise my time at home. This would tie in so well with my whole plan to “unprocess” our lives.
I’m working with a lovely lady who is helping me put together a six week plan to “escape”. I’m in week 1 as I type, so I have a lot of work to do. I’m excited, and very nervous! But when I think about the alternative…this mind-numbing, soul-destroying apart-ness that is tearing my heart out every day – it’s a no brainer.
Edit: Here are that lovely lady’s details! http://www.undercoverescape.com
First off, I need to seriously save some household money. This evening’s plan is to pull out all the insurance policies and see what I can do there!